Flower Diary: So Far So Good

 The amount of time I spend gardening on average: 10 - 15 minutes, twice a day.

The time I've spent from learning the basic of gardening till now: Almost 3 months.

The types of herbs that I've grown from seed to-the-table: cilantro, basil, oregano, parsley, dill, peppermint, arugula, garlic chives.

The seeds I've planted that are waiting to blossom: cosmos, forget-me-nots, scarlet flax, cone flowers,daisies, plain coreopsis, baby's breathe, sweet alyssum, tree mallow, sweet William, indian blanket.

The techniques and lesson I've learned: These are the lesson I want to share on this blog, through a series of posts under the title of 'Flower Diary'.

Flower Diary: Flowers vs. Friendship

 I've been feeling ridiculously self-conscious about my love for gardening, ever since a friend checked in on me asking me how I was doing. I told him I was great. I happily shared that I'm finishing graduate school and that I've recently started a little wild flower / herb garden and I'm loving it. He immediately asked if I still baked, followed by a mockish LOL and before I had a chance to reply, he asked if other than grad school and gardening what's interesting in my life. But before I could answer, he cut me off with the excuse of being very busy, ending his pretence of 'catching up'. 

I was left feeling boring and small. And it kept me thinking for days... Trying to understand why I should feel ashamed of enjoying a meagerly activity like gardening (or baking)...

And then I looked back at the last time I saw this friend face-to-face. It was a humid summer night, I was wearing a flowy summer dress - which I wore because it was considered fashionable, not because felt it was my usual style. We went out for dinner and drinks. I had known him for years but our time spent together that night felt like "a job interview" - He had an opinion about everything I wore and said.  He approved the watch I was wearing. He stopped me mid-sentence to ask me if I could repeat the way I said "women" because he couldn't quite pin-point my 'accent'. He thought the the bills and coins that inhabited my wallet was outdated, 'do people still carry cash?' , he even called up a few friends that were in the area so they could observe me. 

Now that I really think about it, I can't believe I'm let him gest into my head, making me feel small for the simples things that bring me joy? 

 If I were in in a city like... say San Francisco. And if I was given the choice to either:

A. Have a meal with this friend at the fanciest restaurant in the city, or

B. Spend an afternoon with an iguana in the Golden Gate Garden,

I know right away that the experience that would linger as a happy memory would be the latter.

On a similar note, I uninstalled Instagram from my phone a couple days ago and it's... strangely made me more feeling more eager to reach for my phone ever since.